image found on google

image found on google

i’ve been excited to sit down and write about fifty shades of grey since seeing the movie. my mind was spinning with thoughts about the movie, both good and bad. my friend and i sat down afterwards and just processed how we thought it went. we ended up chatting with another woman about the movie for about 30 minutes.

one things for sure, this book and movie has opened up our willingness to communicate about sex, domestic violence and rape culture more than i’ve ever seen. i find it interesting. it seems like the only time people are willing to talk about rape culture is when a movie about consensual sex that doesn’t fit the mold of a “healthy” relationship is about to debut.

i think of all the blogs, and articles that have focused so much on this movie and book and yet paid so little attention to the actual sexual violations going on around the world. just food for thought.

i think the movie was a lot more tame than i had expected. i enjoyed the movie. i thought it really put a lot of focus on the basis of their relationship and the struggles they would experience as their relationship moved forward. of course, they left out some major parts of the book, but that’s to be expected any time a movie is based on a book.

i want to talk about the end of the movie though. the very last scene. if you’ve not yet seen this movie and plan to, i’d bookmark this page and check it out once you’ve seen the movie. i’ll wait.

alrighty, now that it’s just us. let’s chat.

the first book ends with anastasia breaking things off with christian after he shows her “how bad it could be” in the “punishment” department of his bdsm desires. in the movie, i think jamie dornan does an excellent job displaying the struggle he has with feeling sexual release from whipping her, but also the sadness that comes with that. this is a new feeling for him. he’s used to submissives. he’s used to people who’ve enjoyed this type of behavior in the past. and furthermore, he’s used to having zero feelings towards someone.

it’s important to note that the above isn’t an accurate description of qualities dominates tend to have. you have to remember that the majority of relationships that include some sort of bdsm behavior in them are based in love and mutual joy and consent to these behaviors. dornans’ character is interested in bdsm for protection because of his brutal past.

during the scene where he is punishing her with the belt, we see her struggle. she has tears coming down her face. it’s important to note here that she DOES have a safe word, and she chooses not to use it.

here’s my conflict with this: while she could choose to use the safe word and he’d stop immediately, there’s no reason to believe (so far in the relationship) that he wouldn’t be upset with her because she wasn’t trying hard enough to be a good submissive. if you remember, he’s already asked her to push aside her feelings for the benefit of him. we’re left to assume that she didn’t simply forget the safe word, but that she was trying to do what he asked her to do.

** in a healthy bdsm relationship, this wouldn’t be the case. any party can say a safe word at any point and should not feel shamed for that. **

once he’s done he leans down to hug her and she pushed him off. she’s visibly upset and disgusted by the idea he wants to see her like this. hurt. he struggles even more at this point. he loves this woman. he actually doesn’t want to see her hurt but he has no idea how to make the relationship safe for him.

for the first time, she uses the spare room he’s provided for her in his home. she asks him to leave her alone. in the morning, she returns the gifts he’s given her.

this is the part of the movie that i love most! and no, not because it’s over, but because they made this scene so incredibly important. as ana walks to the elevator, christian get’s up to go to her, to beg her not to leave. she turns and say’s his name. he keeps walking. she yells, “NO!” he stops.

the movie ends with the elevator door closing and we’re left sitting in the dark waiting for the credits to roll.

i like this scene a lot. i’ve struggled to come up with the words to describe why i like this scene so much. i just think it sums so much up about the book. i think it forces us to see the main character as a strong woman who, despite what many have said, does know what she wants. it also forces us to realize that christian isn’t the abusive man he’s called, but truly a man struggling to make sense of his life and current feelings.

i enjoy the above comic that i’ve posted in this post. i think it also goes well with this post, since that is in fact how the movie ended.

so there you have it. my quick review on the movie. i’m excited for the next ones to come out.

did you see the movie? what were your thoughts?